Hello March! The beauty and renewal of spring is right around the corner.
To prepare ourselves, we’re going to spend the month of March cultivating CLARITY in our lives. Each week we’ll take a look at how we can cultivate CLARITY in our physical bodies, spiritual beings, professional lives, and our relationships.
“Simplicity, clarity, singleness: these are the attributes that give our lives power and vividness and joy.””
Our goal is to bring our thoughts, words, and actions into CONGRUENCY, HARMONY, and INTEGRITY.
Why is this important?
We become conflicted when we act out of alignment with what we know to be true.
This conflict may show itself in the physical body, spiritual being, professional life, or in our relationships.
It may manifest in emotional eating, insomnia, depression, anxiety, fatigue, dysfunctional relationships, unfulfilling careers, disconnected spirituality, and even illness.”
We need to gain CLARITY in order to Cultivate C.H.I. in every day life.
What is CLARITY?
CLARITY is the process of becoming clear.
Why is it important:
“There’s nothing quite as intense as the moment of clarity when you suddenly see what’s really possible for you.”
“It’s lack of clarity that creates chaos and frustration. Those emotions are poison to any living goal.”
Let me share my recent experience of CLARITY in my own life and how it moved me into a place of CONGRUENCY, HARMONY, and INTEGRITY.
In November I conducted a workshop. It was a two day event and took months to plan and implement. After it was over, my inner critic got super loud. I had begun to have thoughts of writing a signature program that would bring all the thoughts and work I have been doing the last few years together and I knew it was the next step in my personal and professional growth.
We traveled to see family over the holidays and when we returned home I couldn’t seem to re-engage. I went into numbing mode and found all kinds of ways to distract myself from starting this project. I ate too much, read too much fiction, lost myself in helping other people with their concerns. I was using these things to distract myself from showing up in life the way I was being called to do so.
At first, I was so busy fighting these behaviors and judging myself for them that I didn’t realize that I was using them as avoidance or numbing out. I was tired and recovering from a very challenging year and sad over leaving my family after the holidays. I didn’t realize for a while that I was feeling fear because everything inside me was on the edge of personal and professional breakthrough.
This fear was triggering all my limiting beliefs. Limiting beliefs are those tracks that are laid down in our minds when we are very young. They are actually the voices of authority figures from our early childhood. They are the thoughts that we have about ourselves that are deeply ingrained but rarely valid.
Now I know you probably think of these limiting beliefs or the inner critic voice as always being negative but in fact they are usually triggered because we feel unsafe and they come out to protect us. They bring up all the reasons or excuses we can have for not showing up in our lives when challenged.
They say things like:
“You can’t do it perfectly so don’t do it at all.”
“You can’t help others when you’re struggling with the same issues they are.”
“No one will believe you.”
“You aren’t authentic.”
All the critical limiting beliefs that cause us to stop showing up big were triggered in my subconscious and I was a hot mess for a few weeks.
Have you ever been there? Going along, minding your own business and suddenly find yourself behaving in ways that are self-defeating and not in line with who you are as a person?
It could show up as emotional eating, drinking too much, over exercising, sleeping too much, or working to excess. Anything that numbs or distracts you.
I was totally behaving out of alignment with my INTEGRITY and I suddenly woke up. I had that moment of CLARITY when I was able to recognize that my thinking was being run by the tapes of my old limiting beliefs. They were trying to keep me safe but instead were stifling me. It was time to challenge those critical voices and to bring CONGRUENCY and HARMONY back into my life.
As soon, as I began to challenge those voices, the numbing and distracting behaviors began reducing. I no longer felt like a bottomless pit looking for food to satisfy me. I began to re-engage with my life. No longer needing to lose myself in someone else’s story. I began to feel the creativity rise back to the surface of my consciousness. I was suddenly wide awake and passionately engaged in the creative and very personal journey of building a concept from the ground up. I was creating my business baby. My new signature program. No wonder my fears had been churned up? I’ve always believed that when you feel the most fear, you’re on the cusp of a great personal or professional growth edge.
“Knowing how you actually want to feel is the most potent form of clarity that you can have. Generating those feelings is the most powerful creative thing you can do with your life.”
So what can we do to cultivate that moment of CLARITY?
Check out these 7 Steps to Gain CLARITY and Create C.H.I. in our lives.
CLARIFY your point of pain. We don’t make changes unless we are motivated to do so. Sit with the pain and ask yourself what is it trying to do for me, not to me.
Eating out of control? What kind of pain is this causing you? Do you want to stay in the pain or do something about it?
“Awareness brings Clarity. Clarity leads to wisdom. Wisdom leads to purity.”
CLARIFY the problem. One of the biggest challenges with making life changes is we try to hide from our problems. We don’t want to face them so they continue to grow and fester even when we don’t acknowledge them. Get quiet. Get clear. This is where change begins.
I am eating when I am not hungry. This is causing me emotional stress and physical discomfort.
“Finding clarity is eliminating options and aligning with values.”
“Clarity doesn’t always mean you know what you are doing. It does mean you know exactly who you are being and why.
CLARIFY one small change. Tiny steps forward prevent the amygdala, the part of the brain that resists change, from being triggered. Pick one small change and keep moving forward.
I will drink a cup of hot tea when I feel the urge to snack between meals.
“There is no time more valuable than a moment of Clarity.”
“True Clarity and purpose emerge when we see ourselves as we truly are.”
CLARIFY your commitment. How committed are you to change? Keep each change small and doable. Find someone to share your commitment with to help hold you accountable.
Share with a reliable friend. Join a support group. Hire a coach. Be fully committed.
“Why is it so easy to gain clarity about someone else’s problems and so difficult to gain Clarity about your own? Because looking at the world from your own perspective is like looking through a pair of binoculars. And when you are looking through binoculars, you cannot see the binoculars themselves.”
CLARIFY your belief in yourself. Remember those old patterns of belief? Our inner critic? Start updating your inner voice by steadfastly following through on your commitments. Every time you successfully implement a small change, you are laying down new tracks of success in your brain and quieting that old inner critic.
When the voice says “you’ll never do it” you can say “oh yes I did, and I can do it again!”
“The beauty is that through disappointment you can gain Clarity, and with Clarity comes conviction and true originality.”
“Every mistake, every embarrassment and humiliation is a moment the ego diminishes; an opportunity, an instant of clarity that makes room for greater ideas and possibilities to fill our soul.”
CLARIFY the role of failure in the process of change. Get curious. You can’t make an omelet without breaking a few eggs. You will mess up. What can you learn from your mistakes? Use this information to cultivate the patterns that will lead you to success.
Thought: I ate too much at lunchtime.
Feeling: I feel really bad about overeating. I am going to get curious and discover why I overate.
Behavior: I overate because I didn’t eat breakfast. I will eat breakfast tomorrow and evaluate my hunger at lunchtime.
CLARIFY your support system. Ask your partner or good friend, or family to support you. Ask them to check on you and not let you fail. You can also reach out to a coach or an online group.
Explore working one on one with an Integrative Health Coach.
Gaining CLARITY increases our odds of success.
When you put all the steps above together, you create the right environment for success.
You can consciously change the odds by stacking them in your favor toward the direction you want to go.
Change is possible only when we are able to gain CLARITY. We must first get clear on the issue. Then just take one action, start one motion, change your environment, and tilt the odds in your favor.
You may be asking yourself…Now what? I would love to implement these recommendations but I really want or need some help.
If this is you, you can contact me for a complimentary 15 minute strategy session. Here’s how…
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Or you can email me at firstname.lastname@example.org or call (904)502-8936 and leave a message.
“For me the greatest beauty always lies in the greatest Clarity.”
-Gotthold Ephraim Lessing
“People who lack Clarity, courage, or determination to follow their own dreams will often find ways to discourage yours. Live your truth and don’t ever stop!”