What Is Congruency and Why Is It Important?

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Hello February! January has been a time of quiet reflection and renewal.

What shall we focus on in 2016?

I love the idea of bringing our thoughts, words, and actions into agreement, balance, and integrity!

Why is this important?

We become conflicted when we act out of alignment with what we know to be true.

For example, we know that we can’t function at our best with less than seven hours of sleep each night yet we stay up late watching TV, doing chores, or playing games on the computer. We are not aligning what we know to be true with our actions and this is keeping us in a state of compromised integrity and inner conflict.

So why do we do things that we know will harm us and not do the things that we know will help us?

If we don’t take the time to know who we truly are, how can we know what’s truly important to us and what to prioritize?

So with that in mind, I’d like for us to dive deeply into what I call…CULTIVATING C.H.I. in 2016. –Congruency, Harmony, Integrity.

We will be defining what these concepts mean, why they are important, and how we can achieve and implement them in our lives.

We will make relevant application to areas of our lives such as our relationships, our career choices, our spirituality, our nutrition and our exercise.

My goals for us include: getting really clear on our priorities, developing strategies to reach our goals surrounding these priorities, and to achieve sustainable integrity in order to live in energetic flow rather than constantly fighting the current, swimming upstream, and sapping our energy because we’re out of alignment with our values.

So let’s begin today with Part 1 of our INTRODUCTION TO CULTIVATING C.H.I. in 2016.


“It’s about knowing who you are, what you stand for, and than having the courage to be yourself in every situation rather than only when it’s convenient. It’s about being real, consistent, and congruent so who you are on the inside is reflected by the way you perform on the outside.” -Robin S. Sharma


We all know the most common resolution is to workout and to get in shape. Most gym memberships are sold in the month of January. The first three weeks of the year are the busiest at the gym with packed classes and crowded equipment. Now those who work out as a lifestyle know that things will calm down and get back to normal by February as people who made resolutions lose their momentum and fall back into old patterns of behavior. What does this have to do with congruency? Well, congruency is being in a state of agreement, alliance, or partnership. People who have developed a lifestyle which includes working out on a regular basis, have developed routines which support doing so. Their actions are congruent with what they want to achieve. For example their routine may look something like this:

  1. Pack gym clothes the night before.

  2. Prepare drinks in advance.

  3. Establish a regular workout partner for accountability.

  4. Establish good sleep routine.

  5. Fuel properly for energy.

So what are the consequences of living an incongruent life?

The consequences of living incongruently are division, disconnection, separation, and detachment. When one doesn’t take the steps to prepare for success, no amount of wishing will result in success.

“A key ingredient to achieving your goal is to make sure your goals are totally congruent with who your are as a person. Your head and heart’s desire must match. It’s such an important step in goal achievement and if we miss it, we can end up travelling a long way down the wrong path.” -Rachael Bermingham

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We often become frustrated and disconnected from our goals. We fall back into old patterns and become another gym membership statistic.

Incongruence may look something like this:

  1. Staying up too late and not prioritizing sleep.

  2. Eating a nutritionally poor diet.

  3. Not setting a regular time to schedule in your workout.

  4. Not packing your gym bag the night before.

  5. Relying on caffeine for energy.

So how can we uncover and release/heal the consequences of living an incongruent life?

It’s really quite simple.

We forgive ourselves. We then recommit to aligning our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors with what we want to achieve. For example:

Thought: I am going to workout three days this week.

Feeling: I feel good about my commitment to working out three days this week. It is a manageable goal.

Behavior: I will pack my gym bag the night before. I will get plenty of sleep. I will eat a nutritionally dense diet. I will invite a friend to be my workout partner. I will schedule my three day workout in my planner.

Remember, the benefit of living with congruency is flow and ease.

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Do you struggle to achieve and maintain congruency in your life? What are your concerns? Do you feel stuck? I’d love to hear your comments.



12 thoughts on “What Is Congruency and Why Is It Important?

  1. Wonderful blog. I especially liked your explaining that consistency and being the real me leads to congruency in my life and being sure my head and my heart are aligned in my desire. Thank you. I am looking forward to part 2.

  2. I love this concept of yearlong cultivation of C.H.I. Congruency is such an important, and often overlooked, element of living a fully engaged and healthy life. Thank you for sharing this concept with your followers and for bringing forth what I think, for many, is a missing link.

  3. It’s so funny…I finally prepared my children’s lunches for tomorrow, so that my morning will be more relaxed! But, then I stayed up way later than I should have to watch another program of ‘Beat Bobby Flay’!
    I love this blog & I’m really looking forward to the next one. You write with such clarity & grace. Thank you for your words of wisdom & awesome guidance!

  4. I love that you’ve defined each step and given us the tools to live a more congruent life. My biggest challenge is getting enough sleep. I find myself having to defend the fact that I need more than 7 hours of sleep. I get up between 4 and 5 AM and that means going to bed at least by 9pm. It’s my job to set up boundaries so I can honor my body but I find this challenging when I’m not in congruence with the people in my household! LOL!

    1. Dear Dawn, I know that many family members feel like ships passing in the night.? Perhaps sitting down and discussing the needs of each person and implementing a nightly ritual for everyone would be helpful. This wouldn’t mean everyone would have to go to bed at the same time but you could spend quality time together each night. For example, eat dinner together, clean up the kitchen together, snuggle/reading time together, etc. These are things the whole family can do together as you wind down at the end of the day. It’s more about enjoying your time together than arguing about the time you’re apart. ?

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